More Conversations with our dog.

Our dog's papers say his name is Sir Remington Rio. I've found that calling your dog 'Sir,' however, makes for interesting conversations. Here's a recent exchange:

Me: Sir? I’ve been asked to have a word with you.

Him: [quizzical look]

Me: It’s about the cats, Sir.

Him: Grrr.

Me: Very good, Sir. They’ve asked me to inquire whether you’ve changed your position on harassing them.

Him: [cocked head]

Me: Yes, I told them you only meant to play. But they are not used to your, shall we say, exuberance.

Him: *Rising whimper*

Me: And there is the matter of your pretending to eat them, Sir.

Him: [Scratching ear]

Me: Agreed, Sir. A complaint scarcely worth addressing. However, to a cat, placing one's open mouth over their head can seem a bit… forward, Sir.

Him: [Licking self]

Me: Oh, agreed again, Sir. Well put indeed. They however do not seem to share in the spirit of the the thing. As though you were not pretending at all.

Him: [Sitting, head cocked.]

Me: You are pretending, Sir, when you lunge at them, are you not? All in jest, eh what?

Him: [Grabs his duck and shakes it.]

Me: Well stated, Sir. I suppose, cats being cats - one can hardly change that, can one? Or a dog being a dog. Philosophically, you make a fine point. Still, trying harder is the American way, is it not?

Him: Arf!

Me: Well. I shall relay the message, Sir.